Within any Toastmasters meeting are a number of service and leadership opportunities. One of these is sharing an inspirational quote and with that assignment is tallying the votes for ribbons to be given out for the best speech, best table topic, and best evaluator. Here is a running list of those quotes I have shared in meetings:
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” Theodore Roosevelt
“When God closes one door, He opens another, but it’s hell in the hallway.” Rev. Susan Gayle
“Effective communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.” Jim Rohn
It’s been many years since I first learned about Toastmasters. I think it was from a Manager Tools podcast. My takeaway was that it was like an AA meeting but focused on allowing anyone to give speaches to improve their public speaking skills. For a time, I was seeing a therapist who told me it was a non-negotiable requirement that I attend and so I did. Minus heights and snakes, I think all of my fears are front and center in these meetings.
The first speech that you give is called the Icebreaker. It’s a four to six minute speech that allows you to introduce yourself to the group and explain why you are attending Toastmasters so they can be suppportive of your goals. My previous goal with any public speech was just to survive – I know, a bit dramatic. The bar is miles above that as I watch others speak with no notes, looking the audience in the eye and not going blank, and not hiding beyond a podium. My biggest speaking fears include profuse sweating, dry mouth, either going blank or my brain not recalling what to say next quick enough, and since my heart attack, needing to pace to avoid blacking out from my light headedness.
Well, on October 22, 2024 I gave my icebreaker speech. I have never practiced so hard for a speech and in the end, have five different talks written. I forgot to record the talk but I thought I would share the written version of it below. I struggled finding examples of Icebreaker talks before giving mine so perhaps this is helpful for someone.
With this being my icebreaker speech, I picked four topics to share more about who I am to finally introduce myself to this group.
TOPIC #1: Growing Up
Construction: Starting at the age of 14, I spent my summers working with my dad doing construction. This was the starting point of me enjoying school more than summer vacations.
Camaro: I love muscle cars. During my high school years, I owned a partially restored 1969 RS SS Camaro that was painted hugger orange. If this doesn’t mean anything, the best comparison I can think of is the Dukes of Hazzard car for comparison. My cool was much cooler. Fast off the line and slow to stop, this car was too light to be safe on the snow and ice. I ultimately sold the car and have missed it ever since.
Mission: I served an LDS mission in New Zealand; If I am feeling nerdy, I will tell people I served in middle earth; I love the people, I love the food, and I love watching an All Blacks rugby game when possible.
TOPIC #2: Calculus
I took calculus three times at three different colleges:
First at UVSC (now called Utah Valley University).
Second at BYU.
Third at the University of Utah.
Between a good enough calculus grade and a requirement to take the GMAT, I didn’t bother pursuing an MBA when I was younger.
My oldest daughter found out that I could pursue an online MBA at Southern Utah University.
They didn’t require a GMAT or care what my calculus grade was.
My daughter registered me for class and I am now attending my fourth college as a 49 year-old student.
TOPIC #3 Divorce
Married for 13 years and had three girls.
After the divorce I drove to St. George twice a month for 10+ years to see them.
My new wife and my ex-wife had high school choir together. My ex has a scrapbook photo of them at a Seattle McDonald’s while on choir tour with a caption that says “new friends”. Yes, my worlds collided that day.
Exchanging the girls
Early in the divorce, we were exchanging the girls and they had gotten in my car.
As I was also getting in the car, I looked over my hood and could see my ex and her new husband smiling and waving at me.
With no thought I reacted by flipping them off.
I think they were as surprised as I was. Their smiles vanished and their waving slowed to a stop.
Fast forward to today, and my current wife and I have stayed many nights at their place with the girls for Christmas and other family events. It’s amazing what can change with enough time.
TOPIC #4 Heart Attack
My mom passed away from a heart attack in August 2021. She was literally on the go until her final breath.
599 days later on April 19, 2023, on my mom’s birthday, I had a widow maker heart attack.
Only 12% who have this type of a heart attack outside of a hospital survive. I am truly blessed to still be here.
A quarter of my heart is no longer working resulting in my decreased energy and a factor in my current unemployment.
Overall, I am not too sure what my future holds.
I don’t enjoy public speaking, struggle with social activities, and seem to get more introverted as I grow older.
Despite all of my awkwardness and fear, I feel motivated to be here and improve.
Thank you all for making me feel welcome and being so supportive.
